It Was A Dark And Stormy Night…

June 21, 2010 · Filed under Cheesecake, goal fulfillment, Perseverance, Unconditional Love · Tagged , ,

Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton

Campfire in Moonlight, Castle Danger, MN, USA
Image by howardignatius via Flickr
“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents–except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

–Edward George Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford (1830)

You may be wondering what Bulwer-Lytton has to do with making the perfect cheesecake, and I would say absolutely nothing. Once more I am submitting an exercise that many people have blogs dedicated to. The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is sponsored by San Jose State University in San Jose, California.  The goal is to compose an opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels. Bulwer-Lytton, poet, playwright, politician, and novelist,  inspired this event with the first seven words in the opening of his novel, Paul Clifford.

“It was a dark and stormy night” was an opening I had heard around a campfire as a youth. The joke was that we would add to this saying with “It was a dark and stormy night, the thieves sat around the fire and one of them said Captain, Captain, tell me a story, and this is the story.”  Literally, that was it. When you asked what the story was the opening was repeated. Needless to say some of us took a little longer to catch on to the  joke.  Hey, it took me thirty years to appreciate the bigger picture of a campfire jest.

My attempts at a Bulwer-Lytton terrible openings for an imaginary novel are as follows:

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess whose ruby-red lips glistened, and golden tresses swayed gently in the silent breeze, giving her confidence that her brand of hairspray would hold those locks in perfect formation when some idiot decided to use her hair as a climbing rope to the balcony.

The majestic colours of the sunrise reflected with pristine clarity off the brilliant blue glacier fed lake causing all who saw it to gasp with wonder and awe, and have an overwhelming sense of reverence in the presence of such glorious splendour.

Well this exercise came a little too easy which suggests Edward isn’t the only one who is a tad too wordy.



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10 Reasons to Celebrate you, Dad

June 20, 2010 · Filed under goal fulfillment, Perseverance, Unconditional Love · Tagged , , , , , ,

10 Reasons to Celebrate Dad

Today is Father’s Day, the third Sunday of June.  It is a day that is set aside during the year to acknowledge the important role a father plays in their child’s life.  Miss Sonora Louise Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington in 1909 is accredited to having conceived of the idea of celebrating the contributing role of fathers in the lives of their children.  After hearing a sermon about mothers, she questioned why we did not honour the role of the father. Her father, William Jackson Smart, had endured much hardship raising his six children after the death of his wife.  She wanted to honour his contribution to the family.  After advocating for a day set aside to honor fathers, she was finally successful and the first official Father’s Day occurred on June 19, 1910 in Spokane, Washington. It continued to gain popularity as well as presidential recognition throughout the years. Today many of us celebrate Father’s day because it is a tradition yet, forgetting the real reason we celebrate it. There are reasons to honor our fathers and  I have listed my top ten.  Even though many people may not  have had a positive father image, there is still something that can be found that a person can be grateful for with respect to  their father.  Make your list and remind yourself once more why you  celebrate Father’s day.  If you can’t find a reason to celebrate, try using one of mine.

Honore Daumier. The Kiss c.1645-1648

10 REASONS TO CELEBRATE MY DAD

  1. Without you I would not be alive
  2. Dad, you worked in good and bad weather conditions to support us
  3. You never ask for anything for yourself showing me what unconditional love was all about
  4. You gave up your portion of something if one of your kids needed it more
  5. You drove me to all my special events when I was growing up without complaint
  6. You hurt with me when I was suffering from some misfortune
  7. You listened to me day after day practicing my violin and didn’t complain once at the squeaking and squelching it emitted
  8. You would go out-of-town to find work so that we would have a roof over our head and food on the table
  9. You taught me how to play a mean game of crib
  10. You taught me how to waltz so that I could dance at my wedding just like you and mom used to

Thanks Dad for all the you are, and all that you have contributed to who I am today.

Love you Forever….even when you can’t remember who I am anymore.

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Haiku to you and you

June 15, 2010 · Filed under Cheesecake, Haiku · Tagged , , , , , ,

Taking a slight detour from cheesecake construction, but still in the “how to” family grouping, I am practicing the art of Haiku in this blog.  It is a type of poetry from the Japanese culture that combines form, language and content in a meaningful way.  The grammar and words are simple, and the most common use of Haiku is three short lines. The first line is composed of five syllables, the second seven syllables, and the third finishes once more with five syllables.  When creating a Haiku the poet must create a meaningful mental image  for the reader with just 17 syllables.  Here is my first attempt since grade four.

Anticipation,

Light, smooth, creamy cheesecake,

Ecstasy flows.

Yes, I tried to throw in  a cheesecake Haiku to maintain some sort of semblance of order to this blog. You will probably figure out what I was watching when writing my next Haiku.

Buzzing, swarming bees

Pounding drums, horns a blowing,

Curve ball, a goal scored.

It was indeed the World Cup Soccer and as I watched, Brazil did not play well. They are the top ranked team coming into the World Cup, and they played North Korea, the bottom ranked team. At the end of the first half it was 0-0. The score at the end of the game was two-one for Brazil.  Well, at least they won but they will have to step up their game if they want beat Netherlands, Spain, England, Germany…you get my point.

Slithering, slimy

Swiftly stealing a person’s life,

Relief, life anew.

I will let my abundant readership try to figure out what poetic imagery I am trying to generate with my last Haiku. Tomorrow I will give you my best attempt at the Bulwer-Lytton worst openings. I shall endeavour to include the word cheesecake in atleast one of these attempts.  Until tomorrow.



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Cheesecake and the Inner Steve

June 11, 2010 · Filed under Cheesecake, goal fulfillment, Inner Editor, Perseverance · Tagged

Is this the one?

Is this the one?

You may be wondering what Cheesecake has to do with the “Inner Steve”.  The answer is nothing, except this blog is an exercise to be written in my voice and the voice of my inner editor named Steve.

Me:  Is this the perfect cheesecake? Better then chocolate, better then…..

Steve:  You can’t make a perfect anything.

Me:  Where did that come from?

Steve:  Don’t you know that you have to be a world class Chef to be able to make something as mouth-watering as the perfect cheesecake.

Me:  Didn’t Julia Child begin her career without a Red Seal in the Culinary Arts? Wasn’t her cooking fabulous and wasn’t it her love of good food that qualified her?

Steve:  You are not Julia Child. You are just an untrained, wannabe Cheesecake Junkie. How could you ever think your opinion would matter to anyone?

Me:   I have taste buds and I am a human being of equal value and worth as anyone else in this world.  Steve, take a hike and butt out of today’s blog. By the way, people love my cooking, so stick that one in your craw.

Well now that I’ve finished with that business, I can asked myself if this is the one, “La Cheesecake Spectacular”? The filling wasn’t bad, but it probably wasn’t all that healthy using Dream Whip.  The crust was just the same old boring crust. How disappointing. However, one advantage to making this recipe is that start to finish it takes under 10 minutes. The only serious mistake I made was that the springform pan needed to be 8 inches not 9-10 inches because the cheesecake filling came out too narrow. For those who want minimal work, this one is for you.

The Quickie Cheesecake

2 envelopes Dream  Whip                                         1/2 cup icing sugar

1 cup milk                                                             8 oz. pkg cream cheese

2 cups Graham Wafer crumbs                                1/4 cup margarine or butter

Melt margarine or butter.  Mix with crumbs and 2 tablespoons icing sugar.  Press into  an 8 inch springform pan.  Whip Dream Whip with milk. Add remaining icing sugar. Whip cheese and Dream Whip mixture together.  Spread on base.  You need to chill this well. I put mine in the freezer and pulled it out 1/2 hour before serving, then topped with fresh berries, cooked fruit, or pie filling of my choice.  Drained crushed pineapple or cherry fillings taste great. Enjoy.

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So Begins the Quest for the Perfect Cheesecake

June 7, 2010 · Filed under Cheesecake, goal fulfillment, Hanging Baskets, Perseverance · Tagged , , , , , ,

The First Effort

“I’m a cheesecake connoisseur, and it was awfully good.” -Jim Les

Yes, this was my first attempt at pursuing my passion of the moment, “how to make to the perfect cheesecake.” Let’s just say as scrumptious as the photo looks I’ll still be contributing to the economic growth of the food industry for a while.  Being a purveyor of facts, I was surprisingly spurred on to seek that age old question of  “cheesecake connoisseurs.”  Who invented the cheesecake?

“Surely they are a Jillionaire by now,” I thought.  By the way, love that word Jillionaire. It has so much more panache then million or billionaire.

Imagine my surprise to find that the first recorded cheesecake was said to have been made by the Greeks in 776 BC.  They pounded cheese, honey and wheat flour into a paste. They then formed it in to small cakes, baked, cooled and served them to  give energy to the first Greek Olympians. The delicacy caught on in no time and Greek brides baked them for the friends of the groom, thus introducing the precursor to the first Greek wedding cake.  Why the friend’s of the groom and not the bride, tradition I suppose.  I suspect the bride was energizing herself through out the process by discreetly stuffing mini-cakes into her mouth, like Lucille Ball in the chocolate factory episode,  just to have the energy to feed the lucky groom’s friends.  The smart bride would be stuffing the groom with her baking having already deduced that mini cheesecakes were today’s equivalent of the Diet of  Champions.  Amazing where history can take you.  Actually, for the full history just click on this article from About.com.:Inventors.

Needless to say, there are no Jillionaires from the unpatented cheesecake origin, but places like The Cheesecake Factory are flourishing showing you that some things always stay in vogue. Oh, the gastronomic delight of Cheesecake, an experience that spans centuries, I can hear its call….tomorrow.

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